interview

to keep our readers interested, i wanted to find some great guests or celebrities to interview. our friend joe is staying with us at the 526 tonight, but since we do not condone racism, we decided he would be a poor interview candidate. so, since there is no one else, and that it is 2:30 in the morning, i will be interviewing myself.

PICM- Could you state your name?

ME- Don Mattingly is my pen name. Andrew by birth.

PICM- And your collaborator also uses a baseball pseudonym, correct?

ME- Yes, my friend Stephen. He goes by Wade Boggs.

PICM- Why old baseball players?

ME- Well, these guys were the manliest, most macho sportsmen of their day. And they both had great mustaches.

PICM- How did the two of you meet?

ME- Kind of a long story, but basically, one time I was hitch hiking in North Jersey, and I couldnt get any cars to stop. So I had this idea that i would put a big nail in the road and a car would hit it, get a flat, and then they'd have to stop. So a car comes by and hits the nail, blows out its tire and skids right off an embankment. The person driving that car was Steve. We have a good laugh about it these days.

PICM- So why did you guys decide to start a blog?

ME- We thought there were a lot of important things that needed to be said that were too risque for other media outlets. I like to think that if it weren't for us, movies like Kazaam would never be reviewed and bachelors wouldn't know what kind of weird foods they could make using just a microwave. We like to think we're doing a public service.

PICM- Don't you think that your readership is a bit small though?

ME- I dont really want to know how many fans we have, I try not to let fame get to my head. I've been really surprised at all the attention and praise we've received.

PICM- Where did the name for the blog come from?

ME- I asked Steve to name his three favorite things in the world. Thats what he said. I don't really get it either.

PICM- Is there a message that you guys are trying to get across with the blog?

ME- We really just want to chronicle all the amazing bums here. Thats really all this city has going for it.

PICM- So whats next from you guys? What can we expect from the blog in the future?

ME- I might start working a normal job. I think Steve is writing his first cookbook. The blog? I guess you can expect more inside jokes. And lots of Vhs tape reviews. We just got a whole bunch.